Ok guys, this entry is going to be another countdown. Sorry about the delay, I’ve been sick and still am.
My mom was like, “Omg, I can’t believe you blogged about your butt problems.”
1.) And let’s just say that the sickness is indeed related to that. Other than that, I’ve been moderately depressed and fighting with swirling thoughts in my head. Nothing unusual there except that I don’t usually let it drag me under. And no Miss Tecchino, I don’t have real maple syrup or whipped cream. But I have now moved to laxatives and fiber supplements. Yay. How fun. I’d much rather be eating natural digestives like soy/veggie burgers, silk, and granola with flax seed. It’s just not economical right now. As the days pass, I’m getting very testy. Which when you consider the fact that testy is my general disposition, is saying a lot. Ask my mother. Right now, I’m very gassy which makes me nauseous and that makes me miserable. Not to mention the bloat and cramping. Knowing everything’s sitting right on your kidneys. I’m peeing like there’s a water shortage because I’m trying to keep my fluids up in an effort to get shit moving. Literally. Severe constipation is common to my condition. But believe me, it still sucks. Activia works, but considering my already agitated state, I don’t want it exacerbated. (Activia makes me nauseous.)
2.) Before that, I scared the kiddies here with my gas mask. Lol. Mom loved that. What? Stop it. I was sealing canvases thank you very much.
3.) I’m on chap 7 of Dead As A Doornail from Trueblood. That happens when you’re forced to lay there and do nothing.
4.) Sara, our Mama cat, is so huge I can’t believe she hasn’t given birth yet. But she’s also a cuddle monster. So she’s forgiven. She burrows under my covers and lays in the crook of my arms. She’s kneads my neck and chest and digs in with her nails. She writches, (a southern term for finding a comfy spot.) digging her nails in. So finally, this morning after several sleepless nights, I took her paws in my hand, she laid her chin on top and went to sleep, snoring loudly. Phew. She now has her own blankey, which is nothing more than one of my old bath towels. This is because she insists on sleeping with me. So spoiled. She definitely thinks she’s a princess and doesn’t care if Neeko’s jealous or not.
5.) The Venice season 1 finale was a cliffhanger which I anticipated. But due to public outcry, season 1 is available until May. Aaaaah! What am I going to do until then? But I am happy to say I had the ending figured out by epi 5. Which is impressive for me. Great show. Told mom I’m easy to please. Somebody swears in the opening scene and I’m happy. Lol. And a little groping doesn’t hurt either. Lol.
6.) Blackey, otherwise known as Twitch, because he twitches his tail rather than swinging it back and forth, (a name I gave him) has been acting weird the last few days. Needy I guess. He’s petted, played with and fed. So why can’t he get enough? We had to put him outside this morning. He scampers around and wakes people up. Yeah. After he bit my ankle I was done.
7.) Corey Haim. A&E what the hell? You knew he was desperate. How could you? Now he’s on the same list with Anna Nicole and Michael Jackson. And that sucks, ok? Doctors out there, listen. I don’t care how much money you’re being offered. You don’t give a drug addict, in this case a chronic relapser, drugs to combat the problem. And pills are drugs. Forget your medical degree. That’s friggon common sense. Everybody knows about Lost Boys. But did anyone know he was in Crank 2? There’s something really wrong with the nature of celebrity. It’s tragic. How many of you knew he painted? Unless we can do it like Europe does, which is give people enough of their drug of choice to function (by function I mean hold down a job and pay bills) without Oding, legally, like from a clinic, this problem will only worsen. Although we tried that with methadone, didn’t we? I’m mad. I was pulling for the dude. I found his web site on a whim in like 2005. Which is how I found out he painted. I hope his mom doesn’t go all crazy and pull a Barrymore and try to sell his canvases on eBay. I feel bad for her though. She has cancer.
8.) Why do I watch Project Runway or Amazing Race? The one I like never wins. In the end, it just pisses me off. Would the 1 cowboy please stop saying “Sweet?” It’s driving me nuts. New catch phrase please.
9.) Generally, it takes me 45-60 mins to get home. Yesterday, it took 3 hrs. I move slower when I’m sick.
10.) Mom came in my room and rearranged things which is throwing me all out of whack. But admittedly, it is nice to sit at a table with the laptop, rather than on my knees at the end of my bed. I joked that I had so much stuff for this thing now that I have to break it down nightly. I have two end table type things I’m borrowing from her and it works well once I thread my legs through. I have a similar issue with picnic tables. I have to lay down and slide in place. I can always move the laptop over to the other table to plug in the disc drive. With a desktop that’s not an option. I thought mom put my drive in the closet, lol. Hey, I sometimes watch Family Feud on ION here, a residual from living in SC, and John asked for phrases that started with “flash.” Well, 1 lady answered “flash drive.” It wasn’t on the board. But I think it should have been.
11.) Mom’s a big reality TV watcher, so when I’m in her room, I get caught up in what she’s watching. Wait. In the interest of full disclosure, often mom will get into whatever I’m watching. Which at times, is only because there’s nothing else on. Such is the case with “Celebrity Fit Club.” This season, Shar Jackson, Kevin Federline and yes, season 1’s Project Runway winner. And I never thought I’d say this but Kevin’s a nice guy. But you can see that Shar’s still hurting over it. Well, come on, he left her while she was preggers for Britney. Can't get worse than that. Then he did it to Britney. Hey, did anyone else notice her initials? BS. Yeah. Mama Spears didn't think that through too well, eh? And I might as well go there. Dude was not pissed off about being cut off in traffic, k? Can you say paparazzi? Thought so. Let me say that Mom got into The Closer, Saving Grace and The Amazing Race courtesy of me. My interest waned for Closer and Grace because they switched nights. I lost track of the plot lines and that was that. I could catch up online if I want to later. Mom almost got into Venice when she recognized some of the cast members from GL when I was watching it one night before she got her laptop. I had my headphones on but it didn’t matter. “That’s Molly!” She blurted out. Although, technically Molly was on ATWTS and also plays Felicia on BATB but that’s ok. It made me laugh. She acted like I caught her doing something bad. I told her if she wanted to watch I’d rewind it so we can watch together. She said no. Too funny.
12.) Finally dropped the bomb early this morning. Not done yet though. I can tell. So we'll see how today goes. Wish me luck. This can suck. Have you ever been so backed up that your body starts pursuing alternative routes for evacuation? Yeah. Not fun at all and I sincerely hope it's over. Never have I been so thankful for a bowel movement.
13.) These end tables aren't sturdy. Mom hooked my massive bookshelf to the wall. I almost think she should bolt the tables down. Last night I got my legs caught at the wrong angle trying to slide in and bam! On the floor! Laptop and all. Freaked me out. But the laptop's fine. So phew.
14,) My bro comes in my room last night and asks about Sara's blankey. She now looks at the window sadly. She used to perch herself on the edge of my bed and look out. But now that there's a space there, between the window and bed she can't figure out what to do. Even though I've shown her the window, let her know it's still there, she won't jump the space. Oh well. Anyway, my bro says if I leave her blankey where it is, she'll have her babies there. I said I knew that. See, mom and I had already discussed it. And he comes in acting all authoritative which pissed me off. I asked him why he gets to make all the decisions. I was cranky from being sick. I relented and told him even if miss princess has her kittens on my bed, which is highly likely, I knew they weren't staying inside. I'm not a moron, ok? I know if the kittens stay in it's likely they won't leave. So the weather's getting better and we'll put miss diva outside with her blankey in a box. In fact, wecould use the one she and Black like by the front door. Listen, I can be reasonable. I just don't like people talking down to me and that's what it felt like. And the way my bro is, he doesn't let anyone tell him what to do. He either does it or not. Evidence of this is his unwillingness to get Neeko fixed. Among ahem, other things.
15.) Gran Terrino was good. I found myself laughing even as inwardly I cringed. Clint Eastwood is god.
16.) My bro calls Twitch "Skeletor" because he's skinny. He told mom he wasn't sure he'd make it through another year. I wouldn't say that. He eats like a pig!
