I’m not sure I should write about this. It’s the whole stoopybooshy thing again. The school thing did not pan out. It has taken this long for me to get over my own disappointment. And no, I don’t want to talk about it. There’s really no point. I do know better. Nothing comes to me easily. So I’ve been sleeping a lot during the day again. I’m depressed and why should you care? You’ve got your own problems and I get that, which is why you haven’t seen me posting a lot lately.
But on an up note, a few weeks ago, I wore a new outfit when I went to the store. One mom bought because all my clothes get stained pits and knees. That’s just reality folks. My stuff gets well used at least. Anyway, I manage to start functioning at sundown, which is in fact my “normal” pattern. I just didn’t know I could be awake during daylight hours till I started doing it with some regularity. I made it through high school on sheer determination, caffeine and virtually no sleep. Often, my class mates misinterpreted my mental fog for being under the influence.
They’d ask what I was on and if they could have some.
When I explained that I was sleep deprived, they’d exclaim, “Damn, maybe I should try that!”
So I do know what I’m talking about. I’m angry because I’m back to my old self and because I try and get nowhere. Oh, sorry. I skipped ahead.
So I was going to the store. I get just outside the park, headed toward Sweetbay, which is the shortest distance away since I’m fighting daylight. You know the whole handicapped after dark thing? Yeah, it’s stupid but people are still ignorant. And knowing what I do I have to play things a certain way. Because again, that’s reality.
I’m just outside the park when this dude pulls up beside me in a red pick up truck. At 1st, he just drives past me, right? But then he backs up and rolls down his window.
Now normally, I’d already be pissed off and in that all too familiar “No, I don’t need a ride!” mode.
People don’t realize that they’re actually making things worse by stopping me and asking questions, see? It only slows me down.
But this time was different. I knew he stopped because of the way I looked. I had on blue capris with a pink belt with a red shirt with a v neck in the back that had a lace overlay. My hair is still really long, but looks better up. Besides, this is Florida, it’s hot and I’m not stupid. It was 106 on the 1st day of summer here and the ac broke too. On days like that I have mom put my hair up.
I had it in a simple ponytail and it was thrown over my shoulder. And this guy stopped because he was looking. It’s been awhile since that happened and it was kind of kewl. I actually forgot I could be cute.
Went through a seriously condensed catalog of 20 yrs of writing. Had to convert the files. Finally finished 2
hrs ago. Damn, dude. I forgot how melodramatic I can be. Jeez!
Maybe it’s the birthday blues. I always hated it. Don’t believe me? I should post my 2nd birthday pic, Lol.
Damn it. Mom’s going to post that on her face book page now.
OMG! I shit you not! On MSN’s homepage right now: Tired? 6 tips for a more restful sleep.
GASP!
