Yay, It's Mundane!

I should totally put up a blog with blog posts that shouldn't be posted. Because I went off the other day and wrote something down, but let it sit there on my desktop. And believe me that's a good thing. That one was out there. Blah, blah, blah, family drama. So instead, I'm going to talk about mundane crap. Well, you know that we moved the monster out of my room. I got used to listening to my cd's on it. Because if you're like me, you have a collection. I also have an mp3 player. But who has the fundage to switch everything out? Not me. And if the cd's work, why bother? I have an impressive collection. I wouldn't call it ample, but impressive.  So we dug my stereo out of the closet. A decision I instantly regretted. There are too many speakers and too much wire. I felt like I got lost in a giant version of cat's cradle last night. And my laptop thought it was being clever by auto-typing my password on the Venice website. Only one problem. It was typing it wrong. Only took me two freakin wks to figure that out, so it's fine. Stupid computer. But epi 6 was worth the wait.

In other news, I'm not the type to dream about celebrities. But the other night I must of had too much kool-aid, (I don't drink kool-aid, it's a joke people.Yes, it's a bad 1.) because I had this dream about Madonna. Well, I'm actually okay with that except it wssn't what I expected a dream about her to be like. It was boring yet odd. I mean, come on. No seduction? I was disappointed to say the least. But in a way, it makes sense. I honestly cannot fathom such a scenerio. I also figured out I was dreaming too. This is me we're talking about after all. So here's what happened. I found myself on her private jet. And the kids were looking at me like who the hell are you? They asked their mother who I was and what I was doing there. She said she didn't know. I fell asleep on the fuselodge floor. She came in woke me up and told me I had to go. Then I woke up.Oh. And she wwas piloting her own plane too which I know is possible.

But she doesn't do it.

I started working on the make-out painting from a few months back and it's getting
 there. Also, back in what? '04? I did this death scene piece that was  influenced by the movie the others with Nicole Kidman in it. You know the one where she and her kids die but they don't know it? And around the house are these photo albums of olde time death scenes. They look like they're asleep, not dead. There aren't any coffins or obvious indications. Well, that affected me. But unfortunately, I showed the painting to a friend who is sensitive to things of a darker nature. And I let her attitude affect me and screwed up the painting. Some of you might remember me refering to it in its current inception as metapissical. Anyway, I caught a glance at it the other day during the stereo hunt and me tinks I'm ready to finish it now.  The movie itself wasn't that good, but for some reason the death albums got to me. I do have to learn to not let other people influence the end result of my work negatively. I guess that's another wsay to say take some constructive critism, bitch. I also know what to show and what not to now.

I think I'm ready to start emailing artists from the show. It's a little weird for me. I've never been terribly social and I'm not sure what the rules are when it comes to this.

Any ideas?

I did get some of my stuff off the monster today though.

My bro has a subscription to netflix and put True Blood and Inglorious Basterds on his que/ Well, damn it to hell. I kept dozing off during Inglorious, which sucks ass. I'm a huge Tarrantino fan. He make the most ridiculoussly mundane and irrelevant things seem worth pondering. But this thing had subtitles crammwd up the wazoo which would have been fine except I was so freakin tired. And my br's goal is to watch as many flicks as he can b4 the 30 days is up. So it got sent back and I'm not mad about it. Really.

Ok, so the laptop is line jumping again and it's pissing me off. So I'm leaving now. But I did video chat with Miss Techinno the other day and that was weird. I'm gonna have to get used to it.

Yeah, bye.

Flying Bricks

I got a content notice? Dude, my language is child's play in comparison to kiddies 15 yrs younger I've seen their blogs. They go off about how much their lives suck, how much their parents suck, blah, blah, blah, blah. But whatever. I  swear to god this cursor follows my eyes! It's freaky.I type, it goes a sententence back, picks up the word I left off on, puts it behind that. Annoying much?

Speaking of... my bro. I haven't blogged because A.) I dislocated and or bruised my big toe to the point that it swelled up and turned very dark colors. My matriarch went off on me saying I don't take care of my feet. That's not quite accurate. At times, I do injure myself without realizing how badly. On some level, I deal with pain everyday. For the most part I ignore it and keep moving. It's just what I've always done. I have a laissez-fare attitude about my condition because I just figure it comes with the territory. Besides, if I bothered mom every stinking time I hurt myself, she'd have sewn neosporine and  gauze to my hip just for convenience by now. The toe thing has happened before, so I don't know why she freaks out about it. Is it because she knows deep down that I don't say anything unless it's bad? Maybe. Is it because she doesn't want to take me to the ER and have to explain what the docs will assume is child abuse? Probably. Or is it because we get charged 500 bucks just to be seen? Yes. So anyway, I haven't been able to leave the house for 2 wks. I'm  going absolutely nuts here, people! She acts like I do it on purpose. For attention. But more specifically, to make things harder for her. Because somehow, everything I do, ever, no matter what it is, it's about her. But whatever. In her world, I have nothing better to do with my day than to plot against her. B.) She moved the monster out of my room b4 I got to get all my stuff off the desktop. Which btw, I askled her to let me do. And she said she would, then didn't. But whatever .C.) Which leads to my bro. Since we moved El Monstoro out of my room, he has been online constantly.And if we had things set up for multiple connections, it wouldn't matter. In fact, that's what I wanted. Myself, mom and my bro all online at once, doing our thing separately. But we still have to take turns right now. We're supposed to upgrade, but some stuff came up and now I don't know. But without the router Miss Tecchino sent, I would be able to use this wonderful laptop she sent. So you gots to let some things go, I guess. But I'm mostly disapoointed because we each like to do things online to unwind. Now it's still who's online? Are you done yet? Can I go on? In other news, Venice has lost my subscription. Everything always goes to hell when I start enjoying myself. Maybe if I bat my eyes all cute-like, mom'll let me re-subscribe. But I'm kind of pissed. I mean, I already paid for it once. I shouldn't have to again.
I did talk to Miss Techinno today in video chat, so that's good. Kinda weird. but good. I couldn't look at myself and it was strange looking at her. You move and speak, but the 2 don't quiet match. That's going to take some getting used to. I was on the monster yesterdsy and found myself lost. I'm not used  to using the mouse anymore. Cleaned the kitchen while listening to internet radio today. That was fun too. I'd like to be more zen-like, but I did come into the world wired for stress. I'm like Olivia Spencer, waiting for the next brick to come flying at my head. Living life as such makes it hard to glean enjoyment from anything. And yes, I do realize I went off on these internet babies going off and yet that's exactly what I just did. So go ahead, laugh. Permission granted. (heaves a big sigh.) Bye. LOL.

Joy In Hell: An original fic

You wouldn't believe what happened to me this week! But never mind that. I'm posting fic instead! Yay!


Original fic: Joy In Hell
Story featuring my original character Rain.
A/N- This started out as an entirely different concept. But then I thought about it and decided my painting with the same title was due a back story. Something that has only been formulaic in my head. Until now. So yay! Enjoy. Only took 3 yrs. But hey, what can I say? Haiti must be on my miind. Not intentionally trying to be in bad taste. I made mushi-mushi up anyway.
Summary: One outcasts' journey.
Setting: My comic booky head. Bwaaaahhhhhaaaa!
Owned By: Me
Rating: R for now/Language.
Genre: AU/SCI-FI

She wears a dark hoodie and clown make up. The make up had appeared on her face the morning of her 3^rd birthday. Her parents quickly realized it was permanent. No amount of bathing, soap, home remedies, or smelly solvent would take the odd gift off. Her mother accepted it soon after, not needing everything explained. Her father however, he was different. He muttered under his breath about her being an abomination, saying she should be cast out of the home. He stomped into the street in his muddy boots on a mid day afternoon, smoking his rare cigar. He had an allowance of 2 per month, beyond that he smoked camels. Where was the young man headed? To the nearest bar, to pick up some strange woman for the night, someone he could get drunk with and fuck to his fill. And most importantly, someone who didn’t care who he was and would willingly help him escape parenthood and adult responsibility.
Saying, “Let her be a joy in Hell.“ He was off to wallow in oblivion, which was his favorite place to stay. He always got what he wanted there. Deluxe accommodations without expectations.
To his great surprise, he was cast out instead. Forced to grovel and beg and come crawling back a few months later. Her mother had wavered. Sending the confused child to a state hospital, only to retrieve her weeks later. Clutching the girl to her, the tiny thing swaddled from the wet in a red raincoat that was two sizes too big. It was a hand-me-down from her older sister Myrna. A grey cloud follows her and pours torrents upon her head. The surrounding landscape is sunny and bright. Her crutch tips slide across the wet blacktop. The cloud had shown the next morning at the breakfast table, no less. Rain stared as her oatmeal with brown sugar and raisins became an inedible oat-like soup.

Mr. Neckerton from apartment 312 could pray to the ancient Haitian god of mushi-mushi all he wanted. This is how Rain was. And really, she didn’t see what the big deal was.
I mean, damn dude. What was he crying about? He wasn’t the one getting wet.

laptops r fun!

laptops r fun! (and moderately annoying.) it loaded 2day. so yay. however this keyboard was obviously designed for a cia operative or something. becuz wow. you barely have to point or click before it's doing something. you scroll over something with the pointer it clicks it.which is good, really. except if you're moving it somewhere else. so i try to point slow. that seems to work better. it anticipates my next move and tries to copy for me. or it moves up a line or back a word. lol,.
miss tecchino, no worries, ok? i'll figure it out. i got most of my favorites on here already and my antivirus loaded. looking fwd to watching venice 2nite on here. dude, this screen is so clear. did u send the mp3 player to use as a flash drive? just checking. i looked in the book and it says i can install external drives 2, which will likely happen sometime in the future, since almost all my shit is on a disc somewhere. u were right, i think. the service was down. or maybe it's becuz i'm in the same room with the router. awesome! the monster's not even on, right now! i nearly soiled myself this morning. i was like, whaaaaaaat! how'd it know what my settings were?
we now have 3 cats in residence. neeko, neeko's gf, who mom has dubbed sarah, which sounds way better than mama, i have to admit. now we just need a more appropriate name for rachel's brother, currently known as blacky. i will post pictures at some point. but it's so not today. sarah thinks she's a princess. and truthfully, except for the farting, she is. yes, u can laugh. becuz that was indeed funny. she's part siamese i think. and still young enough to play which is much to the delight of mom and my bro. she was rubbing on me  earlier and attempting to help me type. she wanted out, apparently. black, for his part, tried to help me make coffee this morning. i got my coffee pot out and cleaned it up, but since my coffee tasted like dirt maybe i should let it soak some more. but then again dirt doesn't taste that bad. but the whole point of that was to be less noisy. i'm usually up b4 his highness and the matriarch, see. and with my coffee pot set up, i can be up having coffee and not disturbing their coveted peaceful slumber. well, let's just say mr. black wasn't helping me be quiet. lol. off to utube! happy new yr to me! d techinno, if you're having aol issues, just download aim. it's the im service. that way, you won't have to deal with aol itself. that's what i did. it's much easier. that's how we talk everyday. ha, i'm looking for my mouse. god, this is so weird.

That's How We Roll

Yeah, so here’s the thing. Mom goes into furniture rearranging mode, which includes my shit. She has failed to inform me that she putting the shelf between my paint table and the kitchen in her room. What's she replacing it with? That stupid TV stand I hate. I always hurt myself around it. But she refuses to gt rid of it. Well, instead of asking me to remove my boxes from the unit, she starts going through them. She see no problem with this at all. But I do. It’s about propriety. She understands this concept, believe me. But only as it applies to her. She likes to have things a certain way in her own space. As do I. Well anyway, an argument erupts. I tell her I don’t like her going through my shit. She has a tendency to throw things away that she doesn’t see the significance of. She says that's why she put all our shit in storage before we left SC.

"And see," she says, showing me a box. "I'm not throwing anything away." I tell her, "No, you just put it up where I can't reach it because you think I won't need it."

So she’s going through everything and I’m bitching at her for it. So eventually she tells me to shut the fuck up. And now my bro steps in with his 2 cents. I tell him to stay out of it. That it’s between her and I. Mom says it involves him because he has to listen to it. If things were switched and I had insinuated myself into their disagreement she would have told me what I told him. Because that’s how we roll around here. My siblings have valid points and their mouths aren’t big and I should stfu. Same shit. Mom doesn't listen. She just needs to be right and get the last word in. It's incredibly frustrating.

Now, let me clarify something for you, ok? There wasn’t anything that was that important in those boxes. It was what she was doing. She could have very easily cracked my bedroom door and explained what she wanted done. I would have moved it myself. But no, she’s Miss "I can do it faster and avoid conflict." But after 35 yrs she should know that doesn’t work. So my bro starts slinging comments. Saying it was her day off. Implying that we always fight on her day off. But more to his exceptionally freakin valid point, I always instigate things. Which btw, is unfair and untrue. Then I say something about how I’m pretty much expected to mind my own damn business but neither of them have to. And he insinuates that I’m so good at that. That wasn’t fair either. So I banished myself to my room. Which is freezing. I got pissed off because it feels like my bros problems are all that matters. Last night, I informed the entire house that I was going to clean the kitchen. The fact that it was 2 am was of little importance because everyone was still awake. Well my bro doesn’t usually retire till day break. At 2:30 he shuts his light off. I still felt like cleaning the kitchen. So at 3, I start the water for the dishes. This sets him off and thus so, mom. I care about the noise, I do. But he doesn’t care when mom and I are sleeping. If he’s awake, he’s going to be as loud and obnoxious as possible, no matter the hour. On several occasions of late, he has kept mom up despite the fact that she had to get up at the crack ass of dawn to go to work. He can be quiet. But it’s not because anyone’s sleeping. It’s because that’s what he chooses to do. His crack about my mouth was misplaced and taken out of context. I don’t comment on what he does unless I’m genuinely concerned. So this morning I went off about his Highness’s royal sleep schedule. I have often eaten cold food to avoid running the microwave out of consideration for his quirks. I don’t say a damn thing to him when he’s talking loudly on the phone to his gf at 4 am, either at his desk, or just for freakin fun, outside my bedroom window. You know he freakin complains about me listening in. But he makes it impossible not to! Damn it. So eventually mom puts a stop to his onslaught. Then she informs me she won’t set up the monster/laptop until I’m gone. And why haven’t I left the house anyway? Hello? It’s cold. Besides, wtf am I supposed to do? Set up my easel on a crossway on Broadway? I can’t win here, people. She yells at me for not painting. So obediently, I paint. Then I get yelled at for following instructions. WTF? If I’m working and the flow is there, it’s at a frenetic, breakneck pace. That’s just how it is. So what do I do between sessions? That’s right. Say it with me now. Sleeeeeeeep. The work schedules my hours. Not the other way around. So now, here’s what’s what’s gonna happen. I’m going out at daybreak. I’ll freeze my cankles off and she can shove it. I have yrs of practiced sleep deprivation awake fog on my damn side. And D-over the yrs, doctors have failed to diagnose any sleep related problems. I didn’t say anything though. Just figured that thems the breaks. I’m quite certain now that it’s related to my cp. I’ve heard of others with it encountering similar issues. And if it shortens my life span, so be it. I’m not in control of how much time I have either way. So no lectures or reprimands. Thanks.